You Are My Sunshine
by Greyaise
Summary: Haruka has feelings for Makoto, but Makoto already has a girlfriend. How can Haru hide his feelings from his best friend? (Mainly HaruMako, but there are hints of Reigisa and a ton of one sided feelings for the Matsuoka family. This story has a lot of Angst as well, but I couldn't include more than two Genres, so be warned)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Free! or any of the characters in this story.

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_"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship – never." –Charles Caleb Colton_

Haru sat in his warm, comfortable bathtub and let the water caress the sides of his face. He closed his eyes….

_There they were, alone in Haruka's bedroom. Haru stared intently as the boy's soft, precious fingers slid over the buttons on the game controller, pressing down on those ever so lucky sweet spots in a rapid, up and down motion. The vigorous motion of those strong, beautiful fingers suddenly stopped and a noise erupted from the television; the game was over and the boy had won. He turned. Suddenly Haru was lost, lost in a green meadow, with sunshine beaming down upon him, imbuing him with its calming warmth. The heat tickled his body, making his heart beat a little faster._ Yes, this is the feeling I get whenever I look into those beautiful eyes, _thought Haru. The beautiful fingers which had previously busied themselves with the gaming device lifted off the floor and swept over that flawless face, illuminated with a graceful smile and those two green windows, pushing back his soft, brown bangs that occasionally shifted over his eyes. The godly hand then proceeded to approach Haru. It stroked his cheek, letting its warmth seep into his face. The gentle caress forced a purr to escape Haru's mouth, breaking his poker face. Suddenly, the brown haired boy pulled Haru into his sweet embrace…he pulled Haru's face up to his….gently fingered his lips…..their heads slowly came together and then…_

"Haru! We're going to be late!"

Haru's eyes flickered open. The dream was over. Here comes reality. He sighed and dipped his body further into the pool of water. The door of the bathroom opened and there in the entrance stood the boy of his dreams. As always, he was out of reach.

Haru sighed once more, trying to forget the fantasy which had previously occupied his mind. "Makoto…just a few more minutes…"

"Haru! We really need to get going. Come on!" Makoto smiled helplessly, then leaned forward and extended his hand. Haru wordlessly accepted his offer. As their fingers touched, Haru felt the sunshine flow into his body. The heat consumed him, making his mind slip back into that fantasy… _Those caring, slim fingers traced his lips, then crawled over his chin, ventured down his neck, and began to stroke his bare chest…_

A sudden jolt pulled him out of his dream world. Makoto had tugged him out of the bathtub. Their hands were still interlocked. Haru's silky black hair dripped water slowly onto his wet, exposed chest, which was pressed into Makoto's white school shirt. Ba-dumm. Haru's heart skipped a beat. His piercing blue eyes stared down at Makoto's wet shirt, and then carefully shifted upwards...

There, about 3 inches from his own, was Makoto's flawless face. Their eyes locked. Haru tightened his grip slightly on Makoto's hand. With his rapidly beating heart, Haru slowly closed his eyes when…

"Gosh Haru, what are you doing? You're going to get sick if you stand here like this." Makoto laughed as he grabbed a towel, and then proceeded to ruffle the blue-eyed boy's hair. He wasn't fazed at all by handsome boy's half naked body, coated with drops of water that glistened when the light hit it. Haru stayed silent as he let his heart beat calm down. _Of course, reality always kills my dreams_, he thought sadly, though he revealed none of his emotions on his face.

The heart crushing reality: Makoto and Haruka were best friends, yet Makoto had no idea that Haru had been in love with him for the past four years. To make matters worse, Makoto had a girlfriend. Gou. Thinking about Makoto's girlfriend hurt Haru's heart: no matter when or where it was, it always felt as though a thousand daggers were impaling his chest.

Haru grabbed the towel out of Makoto's hand. "I can do it myself," He grumbled, irritated at his own thoughts.

He pushed past Makoto, walked over to his room, and then quickly put on his school uniform over his bathing suit. After having a quick bite to eat, the two boys left the house side by side.

The morning proceeded as usual. The boys got to class and hung out with Nagisa and Rei. When class started, Haru watched as Makoto diligently took notes. As usual, the blue-eyed boy turned his head to stare out the window and daydream. Then lunchtime came around. Nagisa, Rei, Haru, and Makoto had always eaten lunch on the roof, but now that Makoto had a girlfriend, she ate lunch with them too. For the past two weeks, she and Makoto would sit so close to each other, acting all lovey-dovey, making Haru feel sick. Today was different though. Nagisa and Rei had decided to go off somewhere for lunch. They had just started dating. They didn't tell Makoto or Haru, but the two boys could read them like a book.

Haru sat across from the annoying couple. Kou giggled as she tried to feed Makoto some of her bentou. She sat in his lap with one arm wrapped around his waist, and she kept on glancing over at Haru. Haruka couldn't handle the situation; he could tell that he was unnecessary there, and watching them made him burn with jealousy. Just as he was about to get up and leave, Kou spoke.

"Makotoooo-kunnnn, can you get me some strawberry milk? I'm really thirsty!" She pouts and looks up at him longingly.

"Hahaha…alright Kou-chan, anything for you. Haru, stay here and watch her, okay?"

_Damn_, thought Haru. _Can't escape now._ He glares at Makoto as he exits the rooftop. The door closed. Haru sighed and closed his eyes, trying to hold himself back. If he wasn't careful, he would end up snapping at Gou, taking out all his jealousy on her. When he opened his pure, blue eyes, he saw Kou's face right in front of him. He jolted back.

"Haruka-sempai, what's wrong? You've been glaring for a long time." She tilted her head slightly and pouted.

"It's nothing…" He replied uncomfortably. _Too close…_ he thought, and tried to back away a little. Kou inched forward.

"Haruka-sempai… do you not like me?" Her eyes started to water. _Makoto would get angry if he found out I made his girlfriend cry…_

"No…it's not that… it's not you…" He muttered and inched further back. Kou leaned forward.

"Are you…jealous?"

Haru froze. _Shit. She's onto me._ His face was expressionless, but his mind was racing. If Makoto discovered his feelings, their entire relationship would crumble to pieces. They could never be friends again. Then Kou started giggling.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Makoto-kun. You can trust me." As she said this, Kou gave a shy smile and blushed. She pushed her bangs out of her face, and then put her hand down on top of Haru's and leaned forward a bit more. Haru jumped up. His lunch fell to the floor.

_What is she doing?!_ He thought frantically. Not only did she figure out his secret, but she was teasing him. And Haru couldn't do anything about it. _If I say something, she might say something to Makoto._

"Haruka-sempai, you're so clumsy!" She teased as she began to clean up his lunch. Then the door opened and Makoto walked back in.

"Kou-chan, I have the…Haru! What happened? Why is your lunch all over the ground?" His beautiful green eyes looked so worried. Haru didn't know what to say.

"Don't worry Makoto-kun, I just scared him a little and he dropped all his stuff!" Kou laughed as she continued to pick his lunch off the ground.

"Oh Kou-chan, you're so bad!" He teased as he ruffled her hair. Haru couldn't stand to watch them, so he quietly slipped through the door and left the rooftop.

* * *

Haruka and Makoto walked silently home. The sun was setting. It was a beautiful scene, and Haru couldn't stop himself from staring longingly at the ocean. He knew he shouldn't swim there since Makoto was still scared of the ocean, but he couldn't stop himself from staring. At the thought of Makoto, his mind was flooded with so many feelings. Love, jealously, happiness, sadness. Makoto's arm brushed against his as they walked. Heat spread throughout Haru's body. It took all his might to not turn around and kiss the brown-haired boy passionately.

"Hey Haru…can I ask you something?" Makoto asked softly, almost like a whisper. It sent shivers down Haru's spine. He couldn't hold himself back for long. Afraid to open his mouth, Haru looked over at Makoto and nodded.

"You…what do you think of Kou-chan?"

Haru froze in place. He didn't want to hear that girl's name anymore. Why was he asking this anyways? _Oh god, what if she said something after I left._ Fear paralyzed him.

"Haru-chan?" Makoto put his hand on Haru's shoulder and spun him around so they were face to face. He stared at Haru intently, melting the fear.

"…drop the chan." Haru muttered as he looked down, trying to avoid Makoto's passionate gaze. He couldn't look at him. He was too close. Haru tightened his fists, trying to draw his attention away from the beautiful, brown-haired boy standing inches away from him.

"You don't hate her, right?" He asked desperately.

"No…I don't hate her or anything…" Haru mumbled, irritated at how desperate Makoto was. _Why does he care so much? Why does he even like Kou?_ Haru quickly glanced at Makoto's close face and saw that he was beaming. Haru tightened his fists.

"Oh, thank god." He laughed, then let go of Haruka's shoulder. The blue-eyed boy still felt his warm, tender hand even after it had left. "I was hoping that the two of you could…you know…be friends. Do you think that's possible?" He asked hopefully, tilting his head a little. Haru felt something snap in his head. _Be friends with her?! Your girlfriend?! How is that possible?! I'm in love with you!_

"We'll see," Haru muttered as he started walking. He didn't want to look at Makoto. He didn't want to think about any of this. It was too painful…It hurt too much. How could Makoto ask him to do that? _What does he even see me as? _But Haru already knew the answer to all the questions. The answer that he loved yet hated, that tied the two together yet tore apart all his dreams.

_I'm just his friend._

Makoto tried to catch up to Haru, but Haru was walking too fast and refused to make eye contact. When they reached Haru's house, Haru opened the door, walked in, and then shut it without even saying goodbye. He had had enough torture for one day. He stood against his front door, staring blankly. Then, his legs gave way, and he slid down to the floor, trying his hardest to hold back his tears.

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_Hey, so this is the first fanfiction I have ever written. To anyone reading this (if anyone is reading this), feedback would be awesome!_

_Thanks so much for reading my story! :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_"Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop." – H.L. Mencken_

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(Kou's POV)

Kou walked slowly to her house, watching the sunset. She wondered if Haru-sempai and Makoto-kun were watching the sunset as well. Her heart skipped a beat.

_My heart is beating for Makoto-kun,_ she thought desperately. _Makoto-kun is my boyfriend._ She closed her eyes and let her mind be filled by him. She **forced** her mind to be filled with him. She let her mind wander back to when the two of them got together.

_They sat inside the boys' changing room next to the swimming pool. They had stayed after to discuss team practice plans as they had many times before; however, this time, it started to rain hard in the middle of their meeting. The two ran inside for shelter; since no one else was around, it was okay for her to enter the boys' room. A couple of minutes had passed in an awkward silence. Makoto started up a conversation. At first it was just normal, fluff conversation, but somehow it had morphed into a much needed heart-to-heart. _

_"Makoto-sempai, can I share something with you? You don't even have to listen…I just want to get it off my chest."_

_"Of course Kou-chan. I'll listen to you, don't worry," he said with a heartwarming smile._

_"Well…there's this guy that I've liked for a long time. I liked him when I was really little, but then I stopped seeing him after my brother left for Australia. I thought that it was a fruitless first love…until I met him again, here at school. I immediately fell in love with him for the second time. But…it's so painful. I know he doesn't love me, and I don't think he ever will. He has…something he loves more than anything in the world, and I can't compete with it." Tears started forming in the corners of Kou's eyes. "I need to give up on him and move on…but…I just can't bring myself to do that!" The tears streamed down her face. She tried to hide it._

_Makoto's hand grazed her chin, and then turned her face towards him. He saw the tears falling. Kou blushed, embarrassed of how weak she seemed. She was usually so cheerful, so determined, so strong. But lately, all of that was just an act. She hid her hurt and her discomfort behind her scolding, and luckily no one had caught on. However, with Makoto, she somehow felt at ease…and ended up telling him everything. Her mask had fallen. Suddenly, she felt firm, strong arms around her. They felt so warm…so comfortable._

_"It's okay Kou-chan, it's okay." Makoto patted her head with his warm hands. Then he let go of Kou and moved back a little so that they were sitting face to face._

_"If you want, you can…" He blushed. "You can date me to forget about the guy you like."_

_Kou gaped at him. Makoto was asking her out?! He was so attractive, he had fantastic muscles, he was the nicest guy in the world, and he had **fantastic** muscles. And he was asking her out?! She couldn't believe it. But…somehow, it seemed wrong._

_"But Makoto-sempai…won't you feel bad? I don't love you or anything…"_

_"It's alright! I mean, I don't even know if I love you, too. I just feel really comfortable around you, and I don't like seeing you cry. Plus, Nagisa is starting to tease me about not having a girlfriend. He thinks it's weird. You'll be helping me out, too." He smiled warmly again. _Makoto-sempai is too nice for his own good_, she thought to herself. She didn't entirely believe his story – he was probably just trying to make her feel more comfortable. But she thought that was absolutely adorable._

_"If you insist…well… let's try it. I'll try my best to forget about that guy and try to fall in love with you."_

_The two of them looked at each other and smiled. Their heads came together and they shared a soft, delicate kiss. Then they hugged again. It didn't send sparks up her body, but Kou felt very comfortable and at ease in his arms…_

Kou snapped out of her memories and noticed that she was at her house already. She felt warm inside thinking about Makoto…but then an image of _him_ flashed in her mind. She felt electricity shoot up her body. This was immediately followed by a pang of guilt.

_No…no…I am in love with Makoto. I **need** to be in love with Makoto, _she assured herself. Yet, no matter how many times she repeated this in her head, an image of him would pop into her mind, sending sparks throughout her body. It was so hard – for once in her life, **he** had shown interest in her. She knew that she acted completely different from her normal self, but she couldn't hold herself back. She had loved him for so long, her body reacted before her mind. Her heart wouldn't listen to her head. No matter how many times she screamed at herself to stop, she kept approaching him. Kou dragged herself to her room and threw herself onto her bed. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes.

_I am the worst._

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(Haruka's POV)

Haru had spent the entire night contemplating what to do with his current situation. Kou had figured out his secret, yet kept it a secret. Even though Haru was extremely jealous of and almost hated Kou, she respected him and kept his secret. Before Kou and Makoto started dating, he was indifferent about her, but now… now things were different.

_Even though I hate to admit it…she's a really good person,_ Haru thought to himself. _Well, Makoto wouldn't go out with her if she wasn't… _But, most importantly, Makoto was happy with Kou. _He must really like her if he asked me to get along with her…_he thought to himself glumly. He probably cared for Kou a lot more than he let show. Haru felt his temples throb. All this thinking was giving him a headache. Why did he even care so much? Why did he fall in love with his best friend?

_It's not like Makoto made it hard for me though. After all, he comes to my house every day to pick me up…_

_Oh no._

Haru sat up in bed suddenly, letting the soft, orca plushy he was hugging fall to the ground. The thought had crossed his mind before, but it had never been this clear.

_I'm nothing but a burden._

The fear paralyzed him. How could he not have realized this before? Makoto was so kind; he would never tell Haru how much of a nuisance he was. He was probably reaching his limit already though.

_Makoto does everything for me…I'm so selfish._ Haru could feel a stinging sensation creep up his body. He felt so worthless, so horrible. Makoto would be better off without him. He didn't need Haru in his life the way Haru needed him. Kou was enough to satisfy his needs. Drops of water escaped from the windows to the glittering sea residing on his face as he realized what he had to do.

_I have to give up on Makoto. I can't love him anymore._

This one statement started a war inside of Haru. His mind wielded the swords of truth, but his heart would not let them pierce through. It tore up his entire being; sobs racked his body and ate away at his insides. But Haru had already decided what he would do. Starting tomorrow, he would distance himself from Makoto and help his current relationship.


	3. Chapter 3

_"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." –Helen Keller_

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For the first time, Haru woke up in the morning without a reminder from Makoto. He set an alarm on his phone and managed to get out of bed all by himself. His eyes were still puffy from last night's abuse; there was no way he wanted Makoto to see him so weak. Haru listlessly pulled his pajamas off his cold body, slid his swimsuit on, and soaked himself in his bathtub. Then, he texted Makoto.

"You don't have to pick me up today"

Sent. Haru shifted down in his bathtub, letting the water completely surround him. He really didn't need to wear his bathing suit since Makoto wasn't coming, but old habits die hard. He stared at the pale, muscular legs laid out in front of him in the bathtub. _How amazing would it be if my legs were intertwined with Makoto's…_

_Haru opened his eyes slowly when he heard deep, relaxed breathing that was not his own. At first, the image was blurry; it had seemed as though there was a bright light blinding him. However, his eyes adjusted to the beauty before him, and the godly light formed into a familiar figure. A pair of calming green eyes stared longingly at Haru and a bright smile inhabited the handsome face. Haru blushed and looked down, only to find that their naked legs were intertwined in the warm bathwater. He had nowhere to avert his eyes to. Suddenly, a strong yet delicate hand grabbed Haru's chin from under him and pulled his face up. They stared at each other; the green meadows and the endless sea connected, making one beautiful landscape. The familiar heat swarmed Haru's body as his arms wrapped around the brown-haired boy's waist. "Haru…" the boy whispered in Haru's ear softly, erotically. "Haru…"_

Haru sprang up in his bathtub. No, he couldn't be daydreaming about Makoto. He decided to give up on him already. These bath time fantasies had to come to an end. Plus, no one would be around to pull him out of his dreams anymore. If he wasn't careful, he would be late for school. Haru glanced anxiously at the bathroom door, waiting for Makoto to come barging through._ Oh right, I told him not to come_. He grabbed his cellphone off the floor and saw that he had one new message.

"Alright. See you at school"

_Hah. Makoto didn't even question me. He must really be tired of me, _Haru thought bitterly. Realizing that Makoto would never come, just as his mind had hoped but his heart had feared, he climbed out of the bathtub. He only bathed in the morning so that he could fantasize about Makoto until he came to pick him up. Plus, he was hoping that it would make Makoto more aware of him. But that never happened and never will happen, so what was the point anymore? Haru proceeded with his morning routine sad and lonely.

Haruka purposely arrived at school just in time for classes. He did not want to have to talk to anyone that morning. All throughout the morning, he could feel Makoto piercing his back with his eyes. Haru knew that he was worried, and the fact that Makoto cared so much was killing him. Haru wanted to hug him tightly. He wanted to kiss him with everything he had, and then whisper softly in his ears, telling him that he would never have to worry if they could be together forever. He wanted to smother him with love.

But Haru had to stay strong. _You're going to stop loving him, okay? So stop this. You're just a burden. Don't bring down Makoto any further._ He clenched his fists and tried his best to focus on the teacher's lecture.

Eventually, lunch rolled around. Haru knew that Makoto had something to say to him, but he didn't have the willpower to listen to him. It took all his effort to ignore Makoto's intense stares throughout class; there was no way he could survive the rooftop. As Nagisa, Rei, and Makoto turned one way out of the classroom to get to the rooftop, Haru turned the opposite direction. Nagisa was the first to notice.

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan! You're going the wrong way!" He laughed playfully and waved his arms around, trying to get Haru's attention. Haru turned his head slightly to look back at him.

"I'm not going to the roof today."

Nagisa stopped mid-wave and gaped. "But…but…you ALWAYS eat lunch with us! What's wrong?!" At this point, Makoto and Rei both turned around and were staring at him as well. Haru could tell that Makoto was worried.

"Oh, are you sick of all of us couples? If it makes you feel better, I'll restrain myself and not make out with Rei-chan in front of you." At this, Rei's face turned completely crimson and he started stuttering.

"Na…Nagisa! Don't talk about that…. That's not beautiful!"

"What are you talking about Rei-chan? Everything's beautiful whenever you're involved!" Rei's face got even redder. Nagisa couldn't stand the cuteness and proceeded to glomp him in the hallway. Haru chose to ignore the couple's actions and continued with the conversation.

"I need to go to the art room."

Nagisa pulled himself off of Rei just enough so he could look at Haru. No one could argue with Haru if he brought up swimming or art. By now, everyone in the school was aware of the fact that Haru was an amazing artist. The art teacher had even given him his own studio. It was unusual for Haru to go to the studio during lunch, but none of his friends would really question it. "Oh, okay then Haru! Make Rei-chan and I something beautiful, 'kay?" He giggled and then licked Rei behind the ear.

"Nagiss….ahhhh! Stop!"

The moans grew softer as Haru walked away from his friends. _Safely avoided that,_ Haru said to himself proudly. He slid the door to his studio open. Thanks to Nagisa and Rei's little stunt, he was able to completely ignore Makoto. He felt a pang of guilt as he thought of the worried expression that plagued the handsome boy's face, but then he remembered that Kou was there to make him feel better. Just as he thought of her, a hand grabbed his shoulder. Haru spun around and sure enough, there was Kou.

"Haruka-sempai… I heard that you're not eating lunch with us today? Nagisa-sempai was so loud." She looked genuinely concerned.

"I have to work on something." He replied in his usual monotone. Makoto was the only one who could read him usually, yet today Kou wasn't buying his words.

"I haven't told Makoto-kun anything…you don't have to worry…" She paused. "Also…I'm really sorry about yesterday. I kinda went overboard." She bowed her head down. "Please forgive me."

_Thank god she hasn't told him_, Haru thought. He gave a slight nod of forgiveness, but then he remembered that she didn't know him that well. "It's fine." He deadpanned.

"But…It really isn't that bad… I mean, I don't think Makoto-kun would really mind," Kou said reassuringly. Haru could only gape at her. "I mean, you could tell him if it's eating away at your conscious like that."

"No," Haru said firmly and louder than his usual speaking voice. Kou was startled; she had never heard him get this passionate before. "Makoto can never know." Then his voice got a bit softer. "Just give me some time, I'll solve this problem myself."

He slammed his studio door shut.

* * *

(Kou's POV)

Kou was completely shocked. She had no idea that Haru could get that passionate about something other than swimming. She had never heard him raise his voice. And she didn't even understand why he was so worried.

_Just because he's jealous of Makoto-kun doesn't mean he's in love with me,_ she thought, confused. The idea of Haruka being in love with her sent sparks throughout her whole body. _Besides, Makoto doesn't really love me… I think… so he wouldn't mind._

Kou started walking towards the roof. Her mind was a complete mess. Her relationship with Makoto was probably just a trigger in Haru's mind; he probably just realized that he wanted a girlfriend, too. Kou was pretty sure that that was where all the jealousy was growing from. She wasn't sure what was bad about it.

And what did he mean by he'd solve the problem himself? Was he going to find himself a girlfriend? Kou felt her chest tighten. She would die if that were the case. _No, no… you're in love with __**Makoto**__ now._ She grabbed her head and shook it in an attempt to rid herself of her cheating thoughts.

_Well, I better go save Makoto-kun from the two lovebirds on the roof,_ Kou thought to herself, trying to clear her mind of the previous event. She walked up the staircase to the roof and could hear Nagisa laughing maniacally.

* * *

(Makoto's POV)

Makoto was really worried about Haru.

For the first time ever, he told Makoto to go to school without him. The text was so short and abrupt, so he couldn't text Haru a questioning response. Haru has never been able to wake up on his own and get ready in time, so the fact that he sent a text so early in the morning was completely strange. To top it all off, Haru ignored him the entire morning. That was unheard of. Throughout class, Makoto had replayed every conversation he had had with Haru in the past week, and he couldn't think of anything that would piss him off this badly. And if he wasn't angry at Makoto, Makoto had no idea what was wrong.

And not knowing terrified Makoto.

Throughout the morning, Makoto reassured himself. _I'll talk to him during lunch and find out what's wrong._ But when lunch rolled around, Haru ditched him. He wasn't even going to come to the roof to eat.

Something was definitely up.

After putting his lunch on the roof, he told Nagisa to watch his stuff and he ran downstairs. He had to talk to Haru no matter what. However, when he reached Haru's studio, he immediately hid.

_Why am I hiding? What am I even doing?_ He asked himself. He had seen Kou talking to Haru and felt as though something was stabbing his chest. _What are they talking about? Since when were they so close?_ Then Makoto remembered what he told Haru the other day. Haru was really trying his best to befriend Kou. Makoto smiled, yet for some reason, watching them was painful.

Makoto realized that he was spying, and that was a horrible thing to do. He decided to try talking to Haru later and started to walk off… until he heard Haru raise his voice.

Haru never raised his voice.

"No, Makoto can never know."

Makoto stopped in his tracks. _What?! Haru's hiding something from me?!_ His mind became a complete mess as he tried to take in this information. What was it that Makoto couldn't know? He felt pain spread out from his chest and travel through his entire body. _Why could Kou-chan know but not me?_ The world around him became irrelevant and seemed to fade away. He could not think of anything but Haru. When had they grown so far apart?

Realizing that Kou would eventually run into him if he stayed in place, Makoto sped walked up to the roof. He didn't want to be caught eavesdropping, especially since the two were hiding something from him. As he ran away, his chest felt so heavy and seemed to weigh his whole body down. It was really weird – he had never experienced pain like this before.

_I'll go to the nurse later,_ he thought, then escaped through the door to the roof.

* * *

(Haruka's POV)

Haru sat in his studio, alone. He was too depressed to eat his lunch, so he painted. He started off with a cute little painting for Rei and Nagisa. It was an adorable penguin with a purple butterfly perched on its head. In the background, there was an icy landscape on the left, but the ice thinned as it approached the middle and morphed into a green field. It was a quick, adorable piece. Haru realized that he still had a ton of time to burn. He closed his eyes. His heart attacked him with thoughts and images of Makoto, sending pain throughout his body. He quickly opened his eyes and stared at a blank canvas positioned in front of him. Afraid of his own thoughts, Haru decided to dump the remains of his feelings onto the canvas.

He painted furiously. He entered this battle fierce and prepared. He was ready to defeat all the loving yet distressing thoughts that plagued his entire being. With his paintbrush as a weapon, Haru tried to rid himself of everything. He slashed the canvas left and right, letting the colors splatter like blood. He poured his soul into his movements and his creation came to life. It continued to grow on its own until no white was left over.

Haru dropped the paintbrush. He was panting. _It's done. _He had lost track of time. The blue eyed boy looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. The school day had ended. He missed the entire last half of the day. _Oh well, _he thought. _Nagisa and the others know where I am, and the teacher will understand._ The teachers in the school let Haru get away with a lot since he was so gifted. If it involved art or swimming, Haru could make his own rules.

_Well, time to swim._ He dropped all his materials on the floor and pulled himself out of his studio. He felt weak and tired, but the water was calling him.

Left behind in the studio were the remains of the battle. At the upper right corner of the canvas, a handsome and glowing brown-haired boy lay across a cloud, reaching downwards. He emitted light over the rest of the world. The bright, beautiful sky hung over a dark, cold lake that was freezing over. In it lied a pale, sparkling boy with piercing blue eyes and hair as dark as the lake. His arm was extended out of the water, reaching up towards the light – towards Makoto. Green algae clung to the boy's arm, resembling the stem of a flower. His hand, however, was algae free and was glowing with the warm colors of the sun.

The masterpiece stood on the easel, looking confident and full of emotions. Haru's inner turmoil was evident – all the hurt, the anguish, the love, the pain. However, even though he had tried to rid himself of everything, the emotions left in the painting could not compare to everything stored in his heart.

* * *

_Thank you to everyone who has read, favorited, and/or followed my story. I really appreciate it :)_

_Uploads will be slower from now on because my February Vacation is ending - sorry! Look forward to the next chapter ^^ (Rin is coming soon!)_

_Reviews are appreciated!_


	4. Chapter 4

_"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." – Henry Van Dyke_

* * *

A week passed. Haru kept struggling through his life without Makoto. Every day occurred like the previous – Haru woke up on his own, came to school just in time for classes, went to his studio for lunch, and swam with the team after school. Swimming was the hardest part of the day – he could see Makoto's beautifully defined body in its pure form, sparkling as the sunlight touched the glistening drops of water on his skin. He was absolutely breathtaking. Haru tried his hardest to hide his feelings and to rid himself of emotions, but his daily dose of Makoto prevented him from moving on.

Today was the same as any other day. Everything had passed smoothly and Makoto-less. The only thing left was swim practice. Haru stripped off his clothing right as he walked past the fence and dived into the pool. Nagisa laughed.

"Haru-chan will always be Haru-chan!" He giggled and turned to Makoto. "Makoto, why don't you join him?" Then he shoved Makoto into the pool, fully clothed.

_Oh god. Oh god, oh god._ Makoto's head popped out of the water and he gasped. He flipped his hair back, sprinkling the water with drops of water. His white uniform shirt became see-through and clung to his muscular chest. Haru felt the familiar heat spread throughout his body, especially in his lower regions. He looked away.

_Shit. I'm way too excited._ He turned his head to get one last glance at Makoto's beauty. The brown-haired boy was at the edge of the pool trying to pull himself up. His uniform hugged his body tightly. Haru wished he could hug Makoto like that. Makoto eventually got himself out of the pool and started walking towards the locker room. He unbuttoned his shirt and began to pull it off, revealing his bare chest.

"No Mako-chan, play with Haru-chan!" Nagisa giggled again and pushed him into the pool… but this time, right on top of Haru.

Haru turned just in time for Makoto to collide with him. Their bare chests fell into each other and their muscular arms somehow intertwined. Their faces hit each other and their lips touched.

_Makoto and I just kissed._

_Makoto and I…just KISSED._ Haru was trying to wrap his head around the situation, but everything inside of him was a jumbled mess. His body grew so hot. Hot and excited. He felt the effect of Makoto's stunning body in his swim pants. He knew Makoto would notice, but Haru couldn't help himself from pressing his body into Makoto.

The two boys resurfaced, locked in an embrace. Haru couldn't bring himself to look into Makoto's eyes – if Makoto saw the look in his eyes, he would figure out Haru's secret. Then he heard Makoto's voice, loud and next to his ear. His breath sent vibrations throughout Haru's body. _Did Makoto notice that we kissed?_

"Nagisa!" He whined. "I'll get you for this!"

Apparently he didn't notice.

_That's good, _Haru thought, yet he felt his heart drop. Somewhere deep inside, he had hoped that Makoto would notice, would accept Haru's love, and would love him back. But Haru knew that was impossible. He needed to forget about this incident.

Haru shoved Makoto away and dove underwater.

"Haru? Hey, it wasn't my fault! Don't run away!" Makoto called after him. A playful smile crawled across his face. "You can't run away from me!" He dove into the water and chased Haru.

Haru looked over his shoulder and saw Makoto rapidly approaching. He tried to swim away, but he reacted too late. Makoto swam into him in full force. Then he grabbed Haru's arms from behind so the blue-eyed boy could not escape.

Haru could feel his face turn red. He looked down at the water, trying to avoid eye contact with his handsome friend.

"See Haru-chan? I told you you couldn't run away!" He laughed and tightened his hold on Haru's arms.

"Drop the chan," Haru grumbled. Suddenly, he felt an arm wrap around his neck and a hand rub his head. It was meant to annoy him, but Haru was comforted by the position. That is, until Makoto pulled of Haru's goggles.

"Makoto, give that back." Haru struggled to escape from Makoto's hold and turned around. He grabbed at the goggles in Makoto's hand, but the brow haired boy pulled it up high. Haru pouted.

"Haru, you've got to try harder than that!" Makoto laughed and smiled brightly. Haru could feel a small smile dance across his own lips.

"Mako-chan, over here!" Haru looked over Makoto's shoulder and saw Nagisa waving his arms excitedly. He already changed into his swimsuit. Before Haru could react, Makoto had thrown the goggles towards Nagisa. Nagisa jumped and caught them in midair, and then did a flip into the water. It made a giant splash and covered the two other boys.

Haru dove underwater and was next to Nagisa in seconds. Nagisa did his best to keep Haru's goggles away from him – frustrated, Haru gave up on getting his own goggles and grabbed Nagisa's off his head.

"Haru-chan! Give those back!" Nagisa whined. He turned to Rei, who had just walked out of the locker room. "Rei-chan, help me get my goggles back!"

Rei pushed up his goggles and flashed a determined expression. Things were getting serious.

"Two against one? That's not fair," Makoto remarked. "I'll help you Haru!"

The little game of keep away suddenly morphed into a heated round of pool capture the flag. Nagisa and Makoto each hid the goggles on their side of the pool (aka they dropped them in the corner) and the battle commenced. Makoto swam over to Haru and leaned in close. Haru felt his heart skip a beat.

"Okay, so let's make a battle plan."

Haru felt his heart drop a little. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't a tactics meeting. Even so, he saw the determination in Makoto's eyes and couldn't stop a smile from gracing his lips.

"Well we know Nagisa will be the first to charge," Haru stated seriously. Makoto noticed this and put on his serious face as well.

Makoto continued off of Haru's thought. "I'll go after him, and once I tag him I'll cross the line and…"

"and distract Rei. Then I'll quickly swim past you two…"

"and grab your goggles."

The two smiled at each other. They knew each other so well that they could finish each other's sentences. They didn't need to agree on anything – they knew exactly what the other was thinking. The two best friends high fived and then turned to face their opponents.

Sure enough, Nagisa was the first to cross the border. Rei called after him trying to get him to stop, but it was futile. Everything went according to Makoto and Haru's plan, and within minutes the two had captured Haru's goggles. Nagisa and Rei were clearly upset by the immediate loss.

"Nagisa! It's all your fault that we lost!" cried Rei. "If only you listened to me!"

Nagisa swam over to Rei and pouted. "But I was excited! I couldn't help myself."

Rei clicked his tongue. He was clearly angry. Nagisa looked up at him and saw how annoyed he was. An evil smirk swept across his face.

"Hey Rei-chan…I didn't listen to you. You better discipline me so I don't do that again." He pulled Rei's face down and kissed him passionately. "I'll let you do whatever you want to me tonight."

Rei turned completely red and started stuttering. Haru found their interactions entertaining, so he generally watched their arguments. This time, however, he was distracted by the sound of Makoto's voice.

"Haru-chan!" He called. Haru turned to give his usual response when he was taken aback by a sudden hug. Makoto's big, strong arms wrapped around Haru's back and pushed him into Makoto's muscular chest. Haru could hear his heart pulsing rapidly and felt his palms grow sweaty. He wanted to grab Makoto's head and pull it down into his, just as Nagisa had done with Rei. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back his urges. Makoto let go of Haru as suddenly as he had hugged him.

"We won," He said triumphantly and smiled.

"Y...yeah. Was there ever any doubt?" Haru stuttered, glancing down at the water. He and Makoto were happily talking and playing together like normal. The current situation seemed so perfect – Haru didn't want to do anything to ruin it. But, once again, reality interfered.

There was a loud noise behind them. It sounded like a clipboard falling.

"What are you all doing?!"

All four boys turned to see a furious Kou.

"You're supposed to be practicing! And…" She noticed Makoto and blushed. "Makoto?! Why are you still in your uniform?"

Nagisa laughed. "Mako-chan was excited to swim."

"No, Nagisa shoved me into the water!" Now Makoto was blushing too. He was comfortable around his friends, but his girlfriend is different. Haru realized this and his heart fell once again. He wasn't sure how much more excitement and disappointment he could take.

"Even so, why weren't you practicing?" Kou was trying her best to stay angry. She was staring at Makoto's muscles hungrily, but her voice still sounded mad.

"Because Makoto stole Haru's goggles and passed them to me!" Giggled Nagisa. "Then Haru chased me and…"

"And I stole Nagisa's goggles." Haru deadpanned and crossed his arms. He stared right at Kou and tried his best to hide his jealousy towards her. "We need to play together as a team sometimes."

"Yeah!" Nagisa added. "We should do fun things every now and then! Plus, it's a Friday anyways!"

Kou sighed and then dropped her angry act. "Fine… you can play around today. But next week we're practicing seriously, okay? And Makoto, change into your swimsuit or you'll get sick!" Then she sat down and for once let herself relax. Nagisa cheered at the turn of events and Makoto went to change.

* * *

(Makoto's POV)

Makoto walked into the locker room and fell to the floor. He tried to wrap his head around everything that had just happened.

He and Haru had kissed.

He blushed as he remembered the incident. And yet, Haru didn't seem to notice that anything happened. He was glad that Haru didn't look up at him right away after the incident – he had been blushing really badly. Something about their kiss was…special. It was different. Makoto had kissed Kou only once, and yet it felt nothing like the kiss that he and Haru had shared. When he and Kou kissed, it had felt comfortable. It was nice and sweet, but it felt…ordinary. That kiss with Haru though…

Makoto shivered. The impact shot sparks throughout his body. It was electrifying. It was exciting, exhilarating, and breathtaking. When Haru's body touched his, his heart had stopped. It was a scary yet amazing experience. Makoto tried testing this feeling out by grabbing Haru – to cover up his actions, he stole his goggles and ended up starting a game. But his test came out positive – the same feeling came over his body. It happened again when they had hugged after winning.

What was that feeling? Makoto had no idea, but he felt guilty. He enjoyed it way too much. _What would Kou-chan think…. _He decided to forget about the experience.

The four friends played around for the rest of swim practice. They all had a great time – Nagisa probably jumped on Rei far too many times, but Rei seemed to enjoy it despite his protests. Makoto found it funny that Nagisa and Rei never told any of them that they were a couple. It was so obvious that they were together, yet whenever Nagisa would try to bring it up, Rei would blush and say that it was nothing.

Once practice was over, Rei and Nagisa changed quickly and practically ran out of the swim area. They were probably off on a date, but there was no way they would ever admit it. Then Makoto realized that he and Haru were alone.

"Haru…we should probably change now," Makoto said softly. He held out his hand. Haru pulled his goggles off and stared straight up at Makoto. His clear blue eyes seemed to pierce through Makoto's heart.

Haru grabbed Makoto's hand wordlessly. The contact made Makoto's heart beat faster.

_No…I need to put this feeling aside,_ he thought desperately. _Besides… I never figured out why Haru has been ignoring me recently…_ As the two boys entered the locker room, Makoto remembered all the tension that had been between them.

"Hey Haru… why have you been ignoring me lately?"

Haru froze. He literally stopped in his tracks and didn't budge for a good twenty seconds. The twenty seconds seemed like an eternity to Makoto. Finally, the raven-haired boy spoke.

"It's nothing…" He muttered. Makoto saw his eyes drift to the floor. _He's lying_, Makoto thought angrily. He grabbed Haru's shoulder and turned him so that they were face to face.

"It's not 'nothing'. We haven't hung out together for an entire week. You've been getting up in the morning by yourself and you haven't been eating lunch on the roof for _a week_. Did I do something wrong?"

Haru shifted his piercing blue eyes so that they stared straight into Makoto's. Makoto felt his heart jump in his chest.

"It's not you. I was just…dealing with something." Haru looked so sad when he said that. Makoto had so much more he wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to push his best friend any further.

"Alright… I won't force you to tell me anything… just… can't we go back to normal? We're still friends, right?"

Haru flinched. Makoto wasn't sure he saw that correctly though. The blue-eyed boy looked down.

"Yeah… _best _friends." Then he shifted his gaze right back to Makoto. "I'm sorry for…everything."

Makoto felt his body grow cold, yet he wasn't sure why. Haru had sounded sincere, so why was he so bothered? He forced a smile on his face.

"Well I'm glad that we're okay again." Makoto turned to his locker and realized that his school clothes were still soaking wet. He glanced over at Haru. The raven-haired boy was staring at him intently. He seemed to have something important to say, but he never said it. Instead, the boy said "You can wear my clothes."

Now it was Makoto's turn to freeze. It took a moment to register what Haru said; then, Makoto's face turned red.

"Wh…what?! Wait, what will you wear then?!"

As Makoto struggled to spit out that sentence, Haru had already pulled out his Iwatobi swim jacket from some unknown place and zipped it over his bare chest. Then, he handed Makoto his clothes.

"Just return it to me over the weekend," He said. After the two boys changed, they walked home wordlessly for what seemed like eternity.

* * *

(Haruka's POV)

"Bye Haru-chan, see you when I return your uniform." Makoto smiled at him and waved gently.

"Drop the chan," Haru muttered, then walked into his house.

He had agreed to act normally around Makoto again. But how could he act normal and not be a burden? And how could he put his feelings aside? So many questions swarmed Haru's mind – he couldn't think straight and felt completely helpless. He knew that he would need some way to divert his feelings or he would go insane. Haru dragged himself up to his room and flopped onto his bed. He didn't have any answers to his questions, so instead he tried to think of an outlet for his emotions.

Something vibrated in Haru's bag just as he was about to give up. He searched through his stuff until he found his cellphone. There was one unread text message.

It was from Rin.

"Wanna race?"

* * *

_Thank you to all my readers and to everyone who gave me reviews :) To the guests who wrote reviews, I'm sorry that I'm unable to reply! I have read them though and appreciate them a lot._

_I hope you keep reading!_


	5. Chapter 5

_"First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity." – George Bernard Shaw_

* * *

(Rin's POV)

It was Saturday. It was the weekend. And Haru was coming over to race.

It was the perfect day.

Rin was so excited that he loitered around his dorm room the entire morning in nothing but his swimsuit. Nitori had left the room in complete embarrassment – he couldn't look at Rin without blushing fiercely. But Rin didn't mind – nothing could ruin his day. Haru was supposed to come over at 12:30. It was 11:00 and Rin felt like he was dying. Time was moving way too slowly. He sighed and flopped onto his bed.

Rin always looked forward to racing Haru. Ever since they had started swimming with each other in elementary school, Rin couldn't keep himself away from Haru.

Especially when they swam with penalties.

Rin tossed in his bed and his cheeks glowed a faint pink color as he thought about their elementary school races. He closed his eyes and let his memories flood into his mind.

_Rin slid his arm around 11-year old Haruka's neck and pulled him into a hug. They were at Iwatobi Swimming Club and had just finished their usual practice. Haru's swimming was as stunning as ever, and Rin couldn't hold back his desire to see him swim more. Rin wasn't sure why he was so obsessed with the dolphin boy, but he couldn't stop himself from getting close._

_"Hey Haru, let's race! I wanna see who's faster." Rin flashed a determined expression._

_Haru turned his head and his blue eyes pierced through Rin. Rin tried his hardest to suppress his blush. _

_"I only swim free." He replied. His face was expressionless, but his eyes reflected his inner desire to jump back into the pool._

_"Alright, alright, we'll swim freestyle, okay?" Rin laughed. "Let's make this more interesting. Let's swim with penalties!"_

_Haruka looked up at him with a lost expression in his eyes._

_"You know, like the loser will have to do whatever the winner wants him to do," Rin said with a mischievous grin. Haru still looked lost._

_"What kinds of things will the loser have to do?" He asked, to which Rin replied heartily "Anything!" The two boys agreed to the conditions and prepared for their little race._

_"On your marks…get set…. Go!" cried Rin, and the two boys dove into the water._

_Rin swam as fast as he could. He was determined to win. He wanted Haru to have to obey him – he wanted to break that expressionless mask and see other sides of the boy. His heart was fluttering with excitement; he wanted to win no matter what. He knew that Haru was a much faster swimmer, but Rin believed that his spirit would get him through. He looked to the right of him and saw Haru's graceful strokes. His body looked so perfect and flawless, glistening in the water as he swam. Rin started choking underwater, realizing that he forgot to breathe while staring at the beautiful boy. _

_The two boys reached the end of the pool around the same time and turned. They were neck and neck…which was really strange, considering Haru could swim a lot faster than that. Rin could see that the water lover wasn't trying his best, and that pissed him off. When Rin touched the wall first, he knew he had won. He didn't feel that great about it though. Haru's head popped out of the water a second or two afterwards. The boy snatched his goggles off his head and whipped his raven hair out of his face. Rin exploded at him._

_"Why didn't you try?! I KNOW you can swim better than that!" Rin yelled, frustrated. Haru was silent for a couple of seconds, but then muttered a response._

_"I was curious…" he said as he looked away. Rin's anger died down a little and instead morphed into confusion._

_"Curious about what?" He asked, completely lost. Haru played with his fingers and stared at them intently. Then, regaining his composure, he looked Rin straight in the eyes._

_"What's my punishment?" His beautiful blue eyes stared so innocently as these words stumbled out of his mouth. All of Rin's anger had died at this point. Instead, he could barely hear his own racing thoughts over the sound of his beating heart. He couldn't describe the feeling – it tingled throughout his body and shook him to the core._

_He felt something foreign occurring inside of him. His body was reacting in ways he had never experienced before. He didn't know what it was, but…he liked it. He couldn't control himself. He leaned in towards the beautiful boy and put his mouth by his ear._

_"This," Rin whispered. His right hand found its way to the raven haired boy's head. It caressed the side of his face, and then with a jerk turned his head towards Rin. _

_"Wha.." Haru couldn't finish his question. Rin closed the gap between the two boys, letting their soft, virgin lips press against one another. The smell of chlorine encircled the two boys as the redhead pressed the other against the pool wall. Rin's left hand crept around Haru's slim waist and pressed their bodies together. Haru's mouth was still slightly opened. Rin let his tongue trace the outline of the cavern before exploring the uncharted lands. _

_Rin pulled himself back and gasped. He needed air, and so did his shocked friend. The blue-eyed boy stood pressed against the wall, panting. His eyes were locked on the redhead, staring intently. Rin felt his entire face go red._

_"I…you… don't get the wrong idea!" Rin spat out, completely flustered._

_"What? What idea would I have…?" Haru asked, confused._

_"You know…most people…they…kiss someone if they...they…love them," Rin stuttered, completely embarrassed from his actions. "So…don't get the wrong idea! I don't…I don't love you or anything!" He tried to show a fierce expression, but his face was still radiating red. Haru didn't seem to really notice or care._

_"Okay," the beautiful boy said nonchalantly, still staring into Rin's soul. Rin couldn't take it anymore; he jumped out of the pool and ran out, shouting "S…See you tomorrow!"_

After that incident, they raced many other times. With penalties. Just thinking about racing was enough to get Rin excited…both mentally and physically. His whole body reacted whenever Haru or racing was mentioned. When they were still in elementary school, their penalties were very light and fluffy – those were the innocent days, where a kiss or two was enough. When Rin raced Haru after a quick return from Australia though…

Even though Haru won that race, he saw how crushed Rin was feeling and let him choose the penalty. They were 13 and already maturing. Rin was feeling so lost and doubtful about himself, and yet so turned on by his beautiful friend. That night, the last night they saw each other until high school, they parted, feeling unsure of themselves and questioning their relationship. The two lost their innocence that night, Rin in a furious passion yet Haru feeling completely indifferent. Rin left Haru in a fury – he was not angry at his friend, but rather himself. That night, he realized how much he needed Haru. He realized that their simple game that was born out of curiosity had developed into an unstoppable storm that was tearing their relationship apart.

He realized how much he loved Haru.

But he knew that Haru didn't love him back.

Rin tried to distance himself from Haru – he didn't meet up with the boy when he came home from Australia and he planned on avoiding him until his feelings went away. Just when Rin thought he moved on, he met the Iwatobi boys at their old swim club, and the fire in his heart was lit once more. After their teams raced and Rin swam in Iwatobi High School's relay, his relationship with his old friends went back to normal and his penalty races with Haru started up once more.

Rin tossed in his bed and tried to ignore the voice in his head telling him that he and Haru were just friends with benefits. Rin knew that Haru didn't love him, and he knew that he brought the situation upon himself.

But Rin couldn't stop.

He loved Haru too much to let go of the connection they had. Yet, after all this time, he wasn't sure if he could hide his feelings from Haru any longer. Just as he thought this, his phone chimed. Rin grabbed at it and read the new text message.

"I'm here."

Rin jumped off his bed ecstatically and ran out of his dorm room, afraid of keeping Haru waiting at the Samezuka pool.

When the red haired boy charged through the doors, he saw his good friend leaning against the wall, staring longingly at the water. Rin smiled to himself; seeing Haru's peaceful yet excited expression at the sight of water always spread happiness throughout Rin's body. Rin gulped down some air to slow down his beating heart, then walked up behind the raven haired boy and draped his arm behind his slender friend's shoulders.

"Haru! How've you been?" He said with a grin. He flashed his sharp, white teeth. Haru looked up at him, but his mind was clearly still in the water. Rin chuckled. "Ready to race?"

"Yeah," replied Haru distantly. The boy stepped out of Rin's hold, then proceeded to rip off his sweatshirt, revealing his beautiful upper body. Rin could feel his heart race, so he looked away.

"Don't strip here!" The redhead growled, trying to hide his feelings behind anger. He had never been the best at expressing his true feelings, and anger was the best way to cover himself.

The two boys walked into the pool area, prepared themselves, stretched, and then got on the racing blocks. Rin turned to Haru with a mischievous smirk.

"Penalties?"

"Of course," replied the blue eyed boy. His eyes were glowing bright, especially since the water was reflected in them. Rin felt the familiar passion spread throughout him; a passion to swim, a passion to see Haru swim, and a passion to win.

"Ready…Set…Go!"

At Rin's command, the two boys dove off their blocks and swam freestyle through the glistening water. Rin could see Haru glide through the sea of blue effortlessly, as though he were at home. When they were younger, Rin knew he could not win against his friend; however, now they were evenly matched, and the winner was never certain. This thought encouraged Rin to swim faster; after all, he wanted to play around with Haru to his heart's content.

When the race ended, Haru won - but not by much. Rin popped out of the water and pulled his goggles off while gasping for breath. He may not have won, but it was an amazing race. Plus, he was more than a little curious to see what Haru would make him do.

"Okay Haru, you win. You know the rules." Rin tried to make himself seem frustrated. He didn't want to make it obvious that he was looking forward to whatever they were to do. After all, the actions didn't matter to Rin; he just enjoyed spending time with the boy he loved most.

Haru looked down at the water. Even though he didn't say anything, Rin could tell that something was bothering the boy. Rin was frustrated at himself for not noticing it sooner, yet he wasn't sure if he should ask Haru about it. He decided to stay quiet.

After what seemed like forever, Haru looked up. His eyes reflected emotions Rin had never seen before; they seemed to be filled with anger, longing, sadness, hope, and pain.

"Ok… this time, we'll do it with blindfolds."

Rin smiled at this kinky idea. His body couldn't lie – he was totally turned on.

* * *

(Makoto's POV)

Makoto was lying on his bed sideways. He was wearing a dolphin hoodie Haru had given him once. In his arms he held the uniform Haru had lent him the other day. He brought it up to his face and inhaled the scent of his best friend. The smell alone could make Makoto shiver with excitement. It brought about memories of their childhood: all the times that little Haru and little Makoto played around in their inflatable pool, going to elementary school together, getting teased, sticking together, joining the swim club. It brought about images of the current Haru: his sparkling, slim body, his muscular abs, his piercing blue eyes, his gentle face. Everything about the boy flowed through Makoto's mind and refused to leave.

Makoto dragged Haru's uniform shirt away from his face. He knew he shouldn't feel this way about his best friend. He wasn't sure what the feeling was, but there was no way it was normal.

_What would Haru do if he found out about this? _Makoto shivered at the thought. _What if he thinks I'm creepy? What if he leaves me?_

Then, he thought about Kou and felt even guiltier. _Why didn't I think of my girlfriend first? Wait, why is it bad if she knows? Why do I feel guilty?_

Makoto was so lost and confused. He couldn't decipher his own feelings, and thinking about them all made him feel depressed. He wanted to ignore his weird feelings for Haru, but he wasn't sure if it was possible. And he most certainly did not want to start ignoring Haru – after Haru had ignored him, Makoto had come to realize that being ignored is the worst feeling in the world. He didn't want to hurt Haru like that.

_Well, I have to see him this weekend anyways to return this uniform…_ he looked down at Haru's uniform guiltily. It was still wrapped in his arms. _We'll see how this goes…_

Makoto reached for his cellphone to text his best friend.

* * *

(Rin's POV)

Haru was in love with someone.

He didn't say anything about it, but Rin could tell. That's why they used blindfolds. Haru was so passionate – he seemed to give himself out entirely. He was completely different from their usual interactions.

But Rin knew that these feelings weren't for him. If Haru liked him, he wouldn't have made them wear blindfolds. Plus, Rin would have noticed if his best friend started developing feelings for him. After all, he's been looking out for that for the past 6 years.

The two boys were in the swimming locker room, putting their clothes back on after their penalty game. Haru seemed to have calmed down – the painful expression that was on his face in the pool had subsided. Rin sighed to himself – he was happy that Haru was happy, but he was an emotional wreck at the same time. He was upset, hurt, and angry that Haru was in love with someone, yet realized that Haru had the right to fall in love and didn't have to tell Rin. Rin was the one who made their relationship platonic, and he hated himself for it.

Rin was trying his best to keep everything inside, but he knew he would snap in any second. He loved Haru too much to just let him go. He felt as though this was his last chance – if he didn't say anything now, he was giving up on his first love.

Suddenly, a phone chimed. Rin snapped out of his thoughts. He recognized that chime…that was the noise his phone made when…

The red haired boy quickly ran over to his cellphone and flipped it open. He had a text message from Kou.

"Rin – are you coming home this weekend? If you are, please tell me…I want to talk to you about something…"

Rin stared at the message intently. If there was one person he loved more than Haru, it was his precious little sister. He was scared to see her again when he started attending Samezuka – he had changed so much over the years and he was afraid that she wouldn't love her Onii-chan anymore. He tried to avoid her, but that ended up hurting her. Their relationship finally got better after the regional swimming tournament, and Rin wasn't going to let that fade away again.

He tried to interpret the message he received, but could only think of one thing. _She must have gotten a boyfriend._ Rin froze. The idea of his pure sister being tainted by some _guy_ horrified him. He quickly grabbed all his stuff and ran out the locker room.

"Sorry Haru, gotta go!"

* * *

(Haru's POV)

Haru felt a lot better after hanging out with Rin. At the end, it was a bit awkward – Rin seemed to have something important to say, but one text message seemed to derail his train of thought and sent him flying out the room. Haru smiled a little as he replayed the scene. _Typical Rin… so energetic._

Haru pulled on his clothes triumphantly. _My feelings have successfully been diverted._ He felt refreshed – he felt as though he could face anything. He lifted himself off the bench in the locker room, ready to face the rest of the week. As he bent over to pick up his cellphone, it suddenly chimed. Haru grabbed his phone and checked the message. It was from Makoto.

"Hey Haru! Can I come over today to return your uniform? :)"

The message was like a needle popping his balloon; all of his confidence spilled out.

He sighed and solemnly replied "sure".

Haru dragged himself out of Samezuka and headed home.

_This week is going to be a bitch._

* * *

_Well I uploaded this later than I had hoped hahaha_

_Starting from this week, I'm going to try my best to update this every **Saturday**. We'll see if I can do it ^^;_

_Thank you to everyone who's been reading this - My heart jumps every time I see that I have a new favorite or follower 3 _

_This chapter was a bit dramatic, but I promise that the next one will be lighter :) I hope you liked Rin hehehe _

_Reviews are appreciated! And once again, thanks for reading! _


	6. Chapter 6

_"Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own." – H. Jackson Brown, Jr._

* * *

(Rin's POV)

Rin ran through the streets of Iwatobi, frantically trying to reach his house. He received many strange looks from strangers on the streets, but Rin really didn't give a shit. Kou was more important than anything. When he finally reached his home, he stopped outside the door to catch his breath. He didn't want his sister to notice how exhausted he was. After calming down a bit, he barged through the front door.

"Kou! I'm home!" Rin called out. His voice echoed throughout the house.

"Nii-chan!" Kou replied from a distance. Light footsteps fluttered down a staircase. Kou appeared from around the corner. She hugged him then looked up curiously.

"You got here really fast! Were you on your way home already when I texted you?"

"Uh…something like that," muttered Rin, trying to hide his embarrassed face. He wasn't sure how she would react if she knew that he literally sprinted to get here. He gently pushed her away and stared right into her maroon eyes.

"Now, tell me your boyfriend's name so I can interrogate him."

"W…what?!" Kou sputtered.

"That's what you want to talk about, right? You got a boyfriend? Well, he's not your boyfriend until I approve of him. I don't want some douchebag hanging around you just looking to f…"

"Wait wait wait! Stop right there and calm down. Don't make assumptions!" Kou cried out with a blush. Rin realized that his fists were clenched and his muscles were tense. He let himself relax a bit, then sank into a nearby chair.

"So this isn't about a boyfriend?" He sighed in relief.

"Well…it kind of is…"

Rin shot right up and clenched his fists once more.

"Wait! Can you just sit down and listen?!" Kou asked desperately. Rin looked at the needy expression on her face and let himself fall into the chair once more.

"Fine…I won't talk until you finish telling me your story," Rin crossed his arms. He had to restrain himself so he wouldn't speak out of place. "So start from the beginning."

Kou got some water bottles from the kitchen and gave one to Rin. She took a sip and tried to calm herself.

"Okay…so, two weeks ago, Makoto and I started dating…" Kou began. Rin slammed his hand down.

"WHAT? Makoto's STRAIGHT?"

"Nii-chan!"

"Sorry…continue."

Kou sighed. "Well anyways, I've been in love with the same guy for practically all my life, but he's never noticed me. Not even once. We parted ways a couple of years ago, and I didn't see him again until this year. I didn't realize that I still had feelings for him until I saw him again. I hoped that since I'm…you know…older now, I would catch his attention, but nothing I did was working, and I got really depressed. Then Makoto, being the nice guy that he is, offered to date me to help me forget about my unrequited love."

Kou paused to look at Rin. Rin was trying his hardest to not interject. He wanted to cry out, saying things like "What?! You liked someone for this long and didn't tell me?" "What idiot wouldn't notice you?!" etc., but he knew that he should just sit still and let her finish. He took a sip of his water.

She continued. "But ever since I started dating Makoto, he seems to be noticing me. He almost looks…jealous. It makes me really happy…but I feel bad at the same time. I'm supposed to fall in love with Makoto now, but I can't forget about _him._ Makoto is literally every girl's dream guy, and even though I have him, I can't bring myself to love him, and I feel like I'm just using him."

When she finished, tears started forming in the corner of her eyes. Rin was angry. He was angry at this unknown guy who's been playing with his pure little sister's heart for so long. He wanted to find this guy and beat his face inwards. But he knew that Kou was sharing all of this with him for advice, so he tried to suppress his urges and look at the situation objectively.

"Does Makoto like you?" Rin asked uncomfortably. Love definitely wasn't his forte. Anyone could tell from the way he interacts with his special someone.

"I think he likes me as a sister…he certainly doesn't give off the vibe that he loves me," Kou replied after some thought.

"The hell? I swear to god, if he doesn't love you, he's probably riding on rainbows."

"Nii-chan!"

"Sorry…I couldn't help it. I'll be serious again." Rin paused, then continued. "Well, if neither of you two like each other, should you really be dating? It does seem like you're using him. Plus, if you dump him at the drop of a hat for another guy, I'm sure lots of horrible rumors would spread around… I would just end it now before anything really happens." Rin was so proud of himself for saying something meaningful; he couldn't help himself from smiling in triumph.

"I'm sure you'd be super happy if we broke up." Kou rolled her eyes and giggled a little.

"Hey! I'm not that…Okay…I guess that's true…" Rin started off passionately, but his voice tapered down and he turned his head to hide a blush. Kou started laughing. Rin was embarrassed, but he was glad that his sister was smiling again.

* * *

(Kou's POV)

Kou was so happy that she told Rin everything. She was doubtful at first, but he actually gave really good advice. Plus, he made her feel so much better. She couldn't help but think of how much she loved her older brother, and how her brother doted on her. Thinking of the latter made her laugh; he would never admit it, but he totally had a sister complex. When her laughter finally died down, she looked back at her blushing brother who was trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Thanks Nii-chan, you really helped me," Kou said honestly, then leaned over to him and kissed him on the cheek. When she pulled back, she noticed that he was looking up at her curiously.

"So…who's the boy you've liked for so long?" He asked. Kou turned beet red and started stuttering.

"Uh..h..w..why do you want to know that?"

"So I know whose face to pound in. Stupid bastard, pulling you around all these years. When I'm through with him, I swear, no girl will ever love him again." Rin was clearly angry. His fists were all clenched up again. Kou couldn't help herself from giggling. Her laughter confused Rin, whose face twisted as he tried to process what the laughing meant.

"You wouldn't be able to beat him up," Kou said in between her laughs.

Rin retorted defensively, "What?! Do you see these muscles?! A lot of time and effort have gone into these bad boys. With these, I can beat up whoever the hell I want to beat up!"

Kou giggled again then replied "No, you would stop yourself from beating him up. Your conscious wouldn't let you do it!"

"Oh really? Wanna bet? Who is it?" Rin leaned back in his seat and started drinking from his water bottle. Kou started blushing again. The words formed at her mouth, then came stumbling out.

"I…I'm in love with Haruka-sempai!"

* * *

(Rin's POV)

Rin choked on his water. He coughed and tried to regain his composure, but he couldn't. He still was having difficulty processing what his sister had just said.

"Haruka…Nanase?!"

Kou turned really red when his name was mentioned and she looked away. So many thoughts spiraled through Rin's mind.

_This is so fucked up._

_My little sister and I are both in love with Haru._

He noticed that his hands were shaking, so he tried to steady them. He placed his water bottle down so he wouldn't spill any more liquid on himself. Rin took a deep breath and tried to look calm. His mind refused to stop spinning in circles, but he could at least try to act normal.

"Wh…Why are you in love with that freak?" Rin tried to stop stuttering and sound as aggressive as he was moments ago. Kou snapped her head in Rin's direction and their eyes locked.

"Haruka-sempai isn't a freak!" She cried defensively. "Sure, he's a little…_different,_ but that's what makes him so amazing."

Rin really didn't need her to tell him all these things. He knew every little quirk of the water-loving boy, yet nothing made him undesirable. But Rin didn't want his sister to find this out. He couldn't let his sister find out. She looked up to him so much, it would probably break her heart if she found out he was gay. Kou seemed to think that Rin's silence was a cue to continue.

"I mean, he loves water a bit too much, but the way that his eyes sparkle when he sees the pool is absolutely stunning. He loves it so much, he probably never even thought about having a girlfriend: the water is enough for him. And when he strips off his clothes to jump in the pool you can see…"

"those muscles that are so damn beautiful," Rin finished Kou's sentence with a sigh as he imagined his best friend standing before him, completely naked with his muscles glistening from the water. When he opened his eyes from his fantasy, he noticed Kou was staring at him strangely.

_SHIT DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD?!_

"Uh… I was trying to see things from a high school girl's perspective! Hahaha…after all, you do love muscles a whole lot." Rin scratched the back of his head and smiled at his sister, who blushed at the mention of her muscle-fetish.

"B..but I like more than his appearances too!" She pouted at her brother. "He doesn't talk much, but when he does, he's so honest. He's decisive and seems to always know what he wants. And even though he probably would never admit it, he has a caring side too! Whenever Makoto is feeling down or gets scared, Haruka-sempai is there for him. Makoto says that you can tell what Haru-sempai's feeling from his eyes…"

"his beautiful blue eyes that sparkle like the ocean, that are so deep and complex that once you enter them, you can't escape, but you don't want to…" After saying this, Rin saw his sister's concerned expression once more. He turned his head away from her and crossed his arms.

"O..Of course, from a girl's perspective again…Lots of girls love attractive eyes."

"Alright…" Kou said skeptically. "I was planning on taking a shower before you came, but you arrived before I could. I'll go shower now. Thanks for everything, Nii-chan!" She smiled then fluttered upstairs.

Rin let himself sink back into his chair. He honestly had no idea what to feel. He was so confused. His little sister was in love with the boy he loved. His head spun around this entire love triangle, unable to comprehend the situation.

Then he remembered what she said about him never having a girlfriend and sighed. _Yeah, he doesn't have a girlfriend…but he certainly has a "close" friend. Plus, he's in love with someone right now…_

He remembered this and frowned. Rin wanted to tell his sister that Haru was in love with someone, but then he would have to explain how he found out since Haru wasn't the type to open up about these things.

_Oh shit…what would Kou think if she knew I took his virginity?_

He imagined the horror that would crawl over her face. He figured that she would never speak to him again, and this idea scared Rin more than anything. All he wanted were for his loved ones to be happy.

_I should end my relationship with Haru…_

Rin thought about how Haru was in love with someone else and how Kou loved Haru. He knew that both would be happier if he ended the relationship he had. Haru deserved to be with whoever it was he loved so he could be happy, and Kou didn't deserve to be lied to like this. The idea of ending his special relationship with Haru made his heart ache, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

Even though it was painful, Rin thought of how it would benefit Haru and Kou, and couldn't help himself from smiling while imagining their happiness.

* * *

(Haruka's POV)

Haru walked slowly, trying to delay as much as possible. He didn't really want to go home and see Makoto. He was afraid that he would finally snap and make a move, but he knew that he had to maintain their normal friendship. Plus, he was afraid that if he did something, Makoto wouldn't protest, even if he didn't like it. Makoto was way too nice for his own good, and Haru didn't want to be too assertive.

At the same time, though, he longed to see his best friend and get lost in his meadow-y eyes. Haru couldn't last very long without the brunette by his side; he knew it was a problem, and he was trying to fix it, but it was the truth. His thoughts battled each other all throughout his walk, and he finally arrived at his house. Haru sighed in frustration and opened the door.

When Haru stepped through the doorway, he immediately realized that he forgot to tell Makoto that he wasn't home. He was reminded by the handsome boy that lay asleep on his couch. Haru quietly walked up to Makoto and stared at his peaceful face. He had eyebags and looked exhausted, which made Haru worry. _What kept Makoto up all night?_

Then Haru noticed that Makoto was holding the uniform that he lent him the other day. Or rather, Makoto was _hugging_ the uniform…tightly. And he was smiling. Haru knew that Makoto meant nothing by this: he probably just thought that it was his stuffed dolphin that he always sleeps with. Even though he knew it, Haru couldn't stop his heart from swelling with hope. He leaned in a bit closer to Makoto's face and stared at its flawlessness.

_No, stop!_ Haru managed to stop himself before he got too close. His body was acting on its own again; it was just about to kiss Makoto on the cheek. He tried his best to restrain himself, but it was torturous. He finally gave in a little and let his right hand stroke Makoto's face gently.

Makoto stirred and Haru jumped back, shocked. He tried to collect himself and act normal. It was really hard though, especially since Makoto had just started to wake up, and was yawning adorably while rubbing his eyes.

When Makoto finally woke up completely, he saw Haru, yelped, and shot upright in the couch.

"H…Haru?! When did you get back?!" He sounded completely flustered, and Haru found it completely adorable.

"Just now…sorry for not telling you that I was out." He deadpanned, trying to hide his feelings.

"Oh, no, that's completely fine! I have your uniform…uh…eek!" Makoto blushed when he noticed how tightly he was holding it. Haru couldn't hold himself back; he had to tease his friend.

"When I walked in you were hugging it pretty tightly and smiling," Haru remarked with a small smirk. "Were you having a good dream?"

Makoto's face turned completely crimson at this. "Uh…uhm…I dunno…maybe?" He was stuttering and at a complete loss of words. Haru had to suppress his laughter.

"H…Here's your uniform!" Makoto thrusted the clothes at Haru, clearly trying to change the topic. But Haru wouldn't let this opportunity slip away. He took a couple steps forward, received the clothing from Makoto, then proceeded to hug it.

"It's pretty comfortable to hug," Haru mentioned innocently, then buried his face in it. "It smells like you, too. You must have slept for a while…"

"Haru! Stop teasing me, please!" Makoto cried out, clearly embarrassed. "Stop it, or else I'll…I'll…"

"What will you do to me, Makoto?"

"I'll tickle you!" Then Makoto pulled Haru into the couch with him and proceeded to tickle him. Haru tried to resist at first, but he ended up laughing, which was really rare for him. His laughter even stunned Makoto, who paused his attack for a moment to register what just happened.

Haru took advantage of this opportunity and flipped Makoto over. The brunette let out a yelp as he was thrown on his back on the couch. Haru tickled Makoto back, causing the boy to shake with laughter. As the laughter died down, the two boys realized how awkward their position was: Haru was straddling Makoto and leaning over him, and Makoto had his hands resting on Haru's thighs. Haru turned his head away to avoid eye contact; he knew that if he looked into those bright green windows, he would lose control.

He felt Makoto shift uncomfortably underneath him, which made him realize that he should probably get off of Makoto. Haru muttered a soft apology and started to climb of off his best friend when a strong, warm hand grabbed his wrist.

Haru froze. Why was Makoto stopping him? Haru knew he would regret it, but he gave in to his instincts and looked down at the boy, only to see his reddened face with a confused yet desperate look in his green eyes. His face looked so inviting…his lips were parted slightly, looking soft and warm… Haru could feel his body drifting closer to the brunette pinned to the couch.

"Makoto…?" Haru whispered with a slightly concerned tone. He saw Makoto's face twitch as the words were whispered, stopping Haru in his tracks. Did he not like the current situation? _Am I making him feel awkward?_ Haru's head was filled with emotional turmoil; half of his mind was encouraging him to make a move while the other insisted that it would ruin everything.

Before Haru could do anything, Makoto shoved him off and shot up out of the couch.

"S…sorry Haru! I…I've gotta go!" Stuttered Makoto, his face still burning. Then he ran out the room.

Haru watched him leave in complete shock. He was trying to register what just happened. Did Makoto enjoy the situation that occurred, or did he hate it? His face looked so desperate…so needy… yet he ran away. _What was that?_ Haru wasn't sure of anything anymore. Yet, even though his thoughts were a complete mess, he was kind of…happy. He was happy because he realized something, something that cleared away the clouds that blocked the beautiful sunlight, the sunlight that was Makoto, and warmed his soul.

He realized that Makoto might like him back.

* * *

_I'm so excited! I met the deadline I set for myself! :D :D _

_anyways, I hope you all liked the chapter! I may have been a bit OOC here, sorry ^^; _

_Reviews are appreciated! :)_


	7. Chapter 7

**So yeah, I kinda missed my deadline...but in my defense, I had a TON of stuff going on :I This chapter isn't as eventful as the others, but I hope you like it anyways :) Thanks for reading!**

**...**

_"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead." – Oscar Wilde_

* * *

(Makoto's POV)

_The two boys were sitting on the edge of Haru's bed, their eyes intently watching the TV screen. They were playing a video game together, just like they usually do. Makoto frantically pressed at the buttons on his control, trying his best to beat his raven-haired friend at the fighting game. Makoto had grown accustomed to losing, but he still tried his best every round. But this round, he won. A noise erupted from the television, and Makoto dropped his game controller in surprise. He turned his head to ask his opponent what had happened. Their eyes interlocked immediately._

_ "H…haru?!" Makoto cried out in surprise. He wasn't expecting Haru to be looking his way. How long had the beautiful boy been staring at him? The boy's delicate, fair hands were not holding any control – it had been placed to the side long ago. His gentle fingers floated through the air and landed on Makoto's shoulders. They pressed down forcefully, pushing Makoto down onto the pillowy surface with a soft thud. Makoto could feel soft, slim legs cross over his stomach and settle on either side of his hips. He couldn't bring his eyes away from the calm water that stared down at him. They drew him into the ocean, an ocean that, for some reason, he was not afraid of. It filled his body with both excitement and anticipation, increasing the pulse of his beating heart._

_The blue eyed boy leaned down, closing the gap between their faces. He brought his soft, tender lips to the side of Makoto's face, and let them travel down his neck. Makoto shivered._

_"H…haru…"_

_The pale boy lifted his head and once again stared into Makoto's eyes, except this time the two windows were filled with passion and lust. His delicate hands danced over Makoto's chest and floated to his face, where they rested on his cheeks. Then, he pulled their faces close once again. His lips parted invitingly._

_"Ma…ko…to…"_

Makoto shot out of bed. He was panting and covered in sweat. Ever since Saturday, Makoto couldn't stop thinking about Haru. The two had been together for so long, yet Makoto had never experienced anything like this before. He sat in his bed, still half covered in his blankets, trying to steady his beating heart. He grabbed at his phone and checked the time. It was 6:30 in the morning.

_I should get ready for school now…_ Makoto thought. He pushed his blankets off of his legs and began to climb out of bed, but suddenly froze.

_Wait…should I pick up Haru today?_

Even though it was their daily routine, Makoto hadn't picked up Haru for the past week. He knew that he told Haru that they should "go back to normal", but now Makoto was doubting what "normal" was. Plus, he wasn't sure if his heart could take Haruka in the bathtub this early in the morning.

_What is this?! We're just friends. Why am I acting so weirdly? _ Makoto didn't want to listen to the thousands of voices in his head trying to answer his questions. He refused to have an answer. Whatever it was, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Makoto floated through his house, mindlessly carrying out his usual morning tasks.

Then came the time to make his crucial decision. He looked at his watch. _Should I pick up Haru?_ Makoto stood outside of his house and stared at the stone stairway that led to Haru's house. He felt his heart beat increase as he walked towards the stone pathway, so he stopped.

_Not today. I can't._ And with that, Makoto turned and walked the long way to school.

* * *

(Haruka's POV)

Haru looked at the time at his phone, then sank deeper into his bathtub. He wasn't sure if Makoto was coming, but judging from the time, he figured his best friend wouldn't stop by today. He sighed. Makoto had said that they should "return to normal", yet he didn't come today. Did the accident on Saturday really freak Makoto out _that_ much?

Haru smiled at the memory. Even though Makoto wasn't with him, he wasn't sad. In fact, Haru was really happy. Since Makoto wasn't here, that meant that he was actually starting to notice Haru as something more than a friend. Haru had been waiting for this moment for years; he tried everything he possibly could (that was within his comfort zone) to capture his handsome friend's attention, but nothing worked. Now, Makoto magically cared. It was a miracle.

He thought about how he tried to avoid Makoto before and tried to kill off his feelings. Haru used to think his feelings were just a burden, but now… now, he was willing to do anything to confirm his suspicions about his best friend.

Haru went about his morning, alone but with a small smirk plastered on his face.

* * *

(Makoto's POV)

Haru came to school on time. Makoto sighed to himself. _I guess he really doesn't need me…_ This thought stabbed his heart and twisted around inside of him, causing intolerable pain. Students in the class whispered to each other when the raven haired boy walked in, then plopped down in the seat next to Makoto. One classmate, Hikaru Suzuki, spoke up.

"Hey Tachibana-san, are you and Nanase-san fighting?" He asked after receiving a nudge from his seatmate. Hikaru was the friendliest guy in the class besides Makoto. He and Makoto got along well together, so the class relied on him to ask the questions. Makoto put on his usual smile.

"No, Haru and I aren't fighting. What makes you think that?" He replied kindly. He could feel Haru's deep blue eyes dig into his back.

"Well, you two haven't been coming to school together lately." A girl chimed.

"Yeah, you two are _always_ together, but lately you haven't been as much!" Another added curiously.

Makoto shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He could feel eyes all around him, and he wasn't sure how to respond to the girls. Haru spoke up from behind him.

"I've been finishing up a stressful art project. Makoto's giving me some breathing space."

The class froze. Haru rarely ever spoke to anyone outside of the swim team. Makoto could see the shock written all over their faces. He turned his head and realized that Haru was staring at him the whole time. Makoto could feel his blood starting to climb up to his face, so he tried to turn away; however, his attempts were thwarted when Haru placed his hand on his shoulder. Sparks lit up in the place that he touched and traveled right down into Makoto's heart.

"Hmm? What is it, Haru-chan?" Makoto tried to steady his voice, but he could feel it quiver.

"Drop the chan. I'm almost done with the project, so you can stay with me again." Haru's face was as expressionless as always, but Makoto could see some deviousness hidden in his eyes. "I'm going to the studio for lunch. Come with me."

Makoto was grateful that Haru covered him, yet at the same time he was genuinely scared. He could usually tell what Haru was thinking, but that mischievous look hidden in his eyes threw him in for a loop. _I should turn him down._

_No wait, would that be weird?_

_I should just say okay._

_No, I can't handle being alone with him! _

Makoto heard all his thoughts at once. He could feel all of his classmates staring at him. They were all still shocked that Haru had spoken more than a couple of words, and they were waiting to see how Makoto would respond. He could feel his face burn red from all the pressure around him.

"Alright, Haru," He replied with a feeble smile. With that, the strange silence ended and the class returned to their normal, everyday conversations.

Makoto spent the entire morning trying to come up with a way to get out of lunch. The thought of being alone with Haru excited him, his excitement scared him, and his fear confused him. He couldn't face Haru like this; he was a complete mess. Plus, he didn't know how to feel about the devious look in Haru's eyes. What did his raven haired friend have planned? Makoto wasn't sure if he should be frightened or not.

Classes flew by without a moment of recognition from Makoto. He panicked through the morning until the bell rang for lunch. When the unwelcome noise rang through the school, Makoto felt his blood run cold. He saw Haru stand up from the corner of his eye and he knew the moment he had been dreading had come at last. He closed his eyes.

"Makoto-kun!"

_Huh, that's weird. That didn't sound like Haru, that sounded like…_ Makoto opened his eyes and saw Kou standing at the doorway of the classroom.

"Kou-chan! Why are you here?" Makoto asked with a warm smile. He felt a pang of guilt inside of him; even though he was dating Kou, he had not thought of her all weekend. In fact, he had completely forgotten about her. He could see some of his male classmates staring at her, and some of the others were shooting him dirty looks. All the attention made him feel worse: how could he have forgotten about her, especially since she was so popular?

Kou twirled her hair around one of her delicate fingers and smiled nervously. Makoto saw a couple of guys blush. "I wanted to talk to you. Is now a good time, or…?"

Suddenly, something pushed him forward and out of his seat. Makoto spun his head around and saw Hikaru smiling at him.

"Now now _Makoto-kun_, you don't want to keep your beautiful girlfriend waiting. If you wait too long, some other guy might just come along and try to steal her from you." Hikaru spoke to Makoto, but his eyes were locked on some suspicious looking guys out in the hallway who were staring at Kou. Makoto jerked forward.

"Yeah, thanks Suzuki-san," He replied. Then Makoto turned in Haru's direction. As he spoke, he focused on Haru's forehead so he wouldn't get lost in those ocean eyes. "I'll go to your studio if I have time, okay? See you later!"

Then he ran over to Kou, leaving Haru behind.

* * *

(Haruka's POV)

Haru slammed the door to his studio shut. He usually had an easy time controlling his emotions, but he wasn't able to hold back.

He smacked his hands down on a table and his paintbrushes jumped. Haru was so caught up thinking about the incident over the weekend that he _forgot_ Makoto still had Kou. He let that fact sink in, then slumped down into a chair. He was so happy earlier, yet everything seemed to come crashing down. He knew it wasn't Kou's fault, but he couldn't help himself from feeling jealous and hateful. Haru wasn't sure what to do anymore; would it still be okay to go after Makoto?

Then Haru looked up and saw the painting he had made the previous week. A handsome and glowing brown-haired boy reached down from the sky towards him. He shined like the sun, spreading his light over Haru's dark, cold world.

At that moment, Haru knew that he could not live without Makoto. He wouldn't be able to live if he couldn't love his best friend. He knew he would never be able to kill off his feelings, and, for once, a happy ending seemed possible.

Haru put his painting to the side. He would tell Makoto his feelings directly when he was ready. For now, Haru rolled up his sleeves, grabbed a paintbrush, and prepared himself for his battle.

* * *

(Makoto's POV)

Swim practice had just ended, and Makoto was walking side by side with Kou. The two ended up talking about trivial things throughout lunch, so they had planned to hang out after school. First, they went to the library to get some work done (after all, it was a Monday). Afterwards, they walked through town for a bit and did some window-shopping. They had a comfortable atmosphere around them. Makoto pointed out some outfits on display to Kou, who would laugh and make fun of his fashion choices. They joked around until dinner time came.

The two walked into a semi-casual sit down restaurant. Makoto pulled out Kou's chair for her and bowed slightly. Kou laughed and air-curtsied. They settled down, ordered their food, and started talking.

"So Kou-chan, what did you want to talk to me about?" Makoto asked with his trademark smile. He noticed that Kou started twiddling her thumbs. "Don't be nervous; you can tell me anything."

Kou sighed. "Okay…I'm just trying to figure out how to start this conversation." She paused and thought for a moment. "Makoto, how do you feel when you're around me?"

Makoto scratched his chin. _How should I describe it?_ "I feel…comfortable."

"How so?" She asked.

"I dunno, it's kind of like the feeling I get when I'm…when I'm with Ren and Ran." As they escaped his lips, he realized what his words meant. Makoto clasped his hand over his mouth in shame, then glanced over at Kou. She was…smiling?

"Would you kiss me? Have you ever really wanted to kiss me, or felt like you wanted to hold me in your arms and just stay like that forever?"

"I…I don't know. I don't….I don't think I have…sorry…why are you asking me this?" Makoto could feel guilt spread throughout his body. He knew that those probably weren't the answers a girlfriend would want to hear, but it was the truth. Kou folded her hands on top of the table and looked straight at Makoto.

"Makoto-kun…we got together because you wanted to help me get over my previous love. I'm really grateful to you but…but I still love him. I really like you, but I see you as more of a brother, and from what you've said, it seems as though you see me as a sibling, too." Her eyes locked into Makoto's and she smiled. "Thank you for these past two weeks though. You really made me happy."

"So…we're breaking up?" Makoto heard that break ups are supposed to be hard and painful, but he didn't feel anything, so he wasn't sure if it was actually happening.

"We both don't have romantic feelings towards each other, so there's really no point in dating, right?"

"I don't know…I guess…" Makoto said unsurely. He really had no idea what love was supposed to be like. He loved his siblings, his families, and his pets, but that wasn't the same type of love. "Hey Kou-chan, can I ask you something?"

"Of course Makoto-kun! Don't be nervous; you can tell me anything." She tried to imitate Makoto's voice for the last part of what she said, but she failed miserably. Makoto laughed at her attempt, making her blush. "J…just ask it already!"

Now Makoto started blushing. "Uh...well…What does it feel like… to be in love?"

Makoto saw Kou's eyes pop a little and her jaw dropped. "Makoto…you've never been in love?!" She exclaimed. A few couples in the restaurant turned to stare at the two and stifled laughter. Kou looked around, realized how loud she was, and blushed. She shifted in her chair and looked back at Makoto.

"I don't know if I'm the best person to talk to, but…I mean, it's different for every person I think." She tilted her head and scratched her cheek softly. "In my experience though… Whenever I see the guy I like, I can't stop myself from staring. My eyes follow him wherever he goes. When I'm in crowds in school, he's the first person I single out, the first face I notice. When I see him, my heart beats really fast, and I have to catch my breath. A single touch sends sparks throughout my body and nearly stops my heart." She closed her eyes and brought her hands to her heart as though she were imagining everything she was saying.

"I find his quirks adorable and I always want to know what he's thinking. When I go to bed at night, my thoughts are filled with him, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get him out of my head. But most importantly, I just…want to be with him. I want to be important in his life. I want to be someone he relies on, someone that he needs, someone that he cares about more than anything else. If I could just stay by his side for the rest of my life, I would be really, really happy."

Throughout Kou's entire description, Makoto's head was filled with images of Haru. _But that can't be right, Haru's...Haru's a boy! And we're just…just friends…_ the last sentence dug into his chest and tore his heart apart.

Makoto smiled and thanked Kou for everything. They had a nice dinner for their last date and parted with a friendly hug. After Makoto dropped her off at her house, he walked slowly to his own, thinking about everything that was said during dinner. When he got to his house, he greeted his siblings, walked upstairs, locked himself in his room, and sunk to the floor.

He spent the entire night thinking, and there was no way he could deny it anymore.

_I'm in love with Haruka Nanase._


End file.
